so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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