guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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