grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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