If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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