he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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