Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
