so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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