I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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