True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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