Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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