This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
