This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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