I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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