I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
