Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
