he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
