im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
