Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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