If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
