So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
