Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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