Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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