hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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