just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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