I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
