Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
