they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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