omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
