My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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