I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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