I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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