Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
