every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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