I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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