She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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