I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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