He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's never too late to be topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
