just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
