Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
