I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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