Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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