I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize