Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
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I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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