Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
