Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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