There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
