Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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