Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
