All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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