had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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