Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
