her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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