I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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