i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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