i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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